Desiree Peralta shared a story about trying to be more assertive and going a bit overboard.
Have you had a similar experience?
I have. It happened more often when I was younger and didn’t want to be a pushover but wasn’t sure how to be assertive without being overly so.
My issue was triggered when someone was disrespectful. For example, someone cut a line, a customer service rep was zero helpful, people were talking during a movie (in a theater). You know, situations where you’re clearly in the right, but I would jump to a “7 out of 10” response when a level 3 would have sufficed.
Being forceful felt off-brand, but letting things go felt cowardly.
Over the years I’ve honed a process for standing up for myself when someone is disrespectful while remaining kind.
Here’s what I do: If the first-line people aren’t helping e.g., the server at the restaurant simply doesn’t see the problem, I no longer show frustration, even if they are rude. I assume they are operating at their capacity, and I seek someone else who can help. A friend taught me to start with, “I need your help …. ”
I keep using that phrase until I get to the person who can make the fix.
The win/win/win is: I treat people with respect, I feel good about myself, and I get what I deserve or at least a decent compromise.
It’s not foolproof, but it works 95% of the time.
Do you have a strategy for being your best self even when it’s challenging? Do tell!
This Week’s Shares
This Week’s Shares- Think menopause isn’t a business issue? Time for a rethink. “In the U.S., nearly 50 million women in the workforce are aged 35 and over, which is the demographic most likely to experience menopause-related symptoms.” “Menopause doesn’t just affect ‘women of a certain age.’ It affects everyone. It is a leadership issue, a workforce issue, an economic issue, and a well-being issue all at once. And for organizations willing to acknowledge it, the solutions are often far simpler—and far more impactful—than they realize.” Lots of data in this article from Fast Company.
- There’s new data on the downside of WFH, namely mental health concerns. Check out the research in this opinion piece from the NY Times (gift link).
- In celebrating the life and works of Audre Lorde, Chief asked members to comment on her quote, ““Each one of us is here because someone before us did something to make it possible.” Read their insightful, touching, and inspiring responses.
- People hate those AI data centers, but why? Insights by Thomas Smith for Fast Company.
- One more… why are Americans not seeing the economy in a positive light? For a point/counter-point look, check this out.
🌞 Do Good Spotlight: Asbury Park Music Foundation
From the Stone Pony to the Paramount Theatre, Asbury Park, NJ has a guitar case full of musical history. The Asbury Park Music Foundation provides music education to under-served youth in Monmouth County and supports local musicians through summer concerts that bring the community together. Check out their free concerts if you’re nearby!
⏳Until Next Time…
Birthdays are a great time for reflection about what you’ve done well and what you can do better. For people and for nations.
Happy 250th Birthday to the United States of America.
Niki